Contraception: A Threat to Marriage and Sexual Intercourse

Artificial birth control (aka contraception) is harmful to the marital relationship. Invariably, such methods lend themselves to uses in sexual intercourse in which the man uses a woman "as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment," (cf Humanae Vitae, element 17). As a corollary to this, it is my contention, as a man, that use of contraceptives in intercourse leads to their use in sexual positions, such as missionary and rear-entry, in which the man tends to be the aggressor, rather than face-to-face woman-on-top which, due to the slower rate of stimulation (for a man) facilitates tenderness, quality time, and communication---essentially the same ingredients necessary in the effective use of Natural Family Planning (NFP). Conversely, the use of face-to-face woman-on-top (the only sexual position which is truly and uniquely human and as such, affirms the dignity of the human person) militates against the use of many of the contraceptive devices, especially when a woman is at maximum arousal (i.e., during her fertile phase). It is almost as if nature (or, in this case, God, who is the Author of Nature) is once again trying to tell us that sperm and egg were indeed meant to be together, just as certainly as the woman was meant to encompass the man (cf Jeremiah 31:22).

Cervical Caps and Diaphragms
Diaphragms have been known to come loose when the woman is on top. Cervical caps have also been known to come ajar during intercourse. It would stand to reason that this would be more likely when the woman is on top, and especially given that they would be "needed" when the woman is most highly aroused (ie, her fertile phase), and thus more likely to be moving vigorously.

Condoms
"Lift offs" have been known to occur when the woman is on top. Once again, this would be most likely to occur when they are most "needed," (ie, when the woman is in her fertile phase and thus highly aroused, and thus more likely to be moving vigorously).

The use of condoms in the woman-on-top position presents another, REAL problem as well, this one potentially damaging to the relationship. The woman-on-top position slows the process of stimulation for the man in order to better match the woman’s sexual response. Unfortunately, if done with a condom, the decreased sensitivity may result in the marital act being prolonged inordinately, possibly delaying or preventing the man’s ejaculation indefinitely. This may cause the woman to become tired and to possibly, over time, come to disdain the marital act entirely. A man may instead be tempted to "finish things off" by doing the thrusting instead, using a form of "batter and ram" copulation, such as occurs in the missionary or rear-entry positions. Unfortunately, this may, over time, cause the act to degenerate into miscommunication, bad timing, and dissension. Part of a desire to "finish things off" in such situations could stem from the man’s fear that his wife is now beginning to use him as a "mere instrument of selfish enjoyment" (cf Humanae Vitae, element 17), and that she may even terminate the act before it goes to completion (ie, before he ejaculates). Attempts by his wife to speed things up by more vigorous movements may simply increase chances of a previously-mentioned "lift off"-----still one more hint from Nature that sperm and egg were meant to be together. Unfortunately, the man may furthermore come to demand such vigorous thrusting (either by him or her) on a regular basis, including during his wife's infertile period when, not being as easily aroused, she requires a slower, more gentle stimulation. A woman may instead come to disdain the marital act, thus diminishing the ability to communicate effectively and watch for each others’ responses and needs, all of which is necessary if the legitimate use of the infertile periods, as part of Natural Family Planning (NFP), is to be done effectively. This may instead result in a desire, by both spouses, to simply "get it over with" in a manner in which the man does the thrusting (ie, using something other than face-to-face woman-on-top).

Hormonal-Chemical: Oral Contraceptives, Depo Provera, Nor-Plant
As a general rule, the above-listed substances can decrease a woman’s sexual desire, and increase vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse painful. Should her husband continue to demand intercourse even under these circumstances, he will be regarding her as a mere object, once again (cf Humanae Vitae, element 17). This once again militates against the kind of "teamwork," tenderness, and communication necessary for a couple if NFP is to be used effectively and for the right reasons. A woman will not be as affectionate as she otherwise would be, and her husband may, nevertheless, continue to inordinately desire (or demand) that his wife proceed with something she has little or no interest in. Once again, this would lead to a tendency to simply want to "get it over with," more than likely using a "batter and ram" style of intercourse in which the man does the thrusting (i.e., missionary or rear-entry position). Once again, in all these scenarios, use of the above-listed methods may engender practices and attitudes that engender miscommunication, dissension, and possibly violence in the relationship.

Now, apparently there have also been instances in which the use of the foregoing substances has actually increased a woman’s sexual desire. Unfortunately, this may simply be an incentive for a woman and her husband to seek intercourse merely as a means of pleasure, rather than procreation. If the woman’s increased sexual desire is inordinate, it may then lead the woman to regard her husband as a "mere instrument of selfish enjoyment" (cf Humanae Vitae, element 17). This in turn may lead to a sense of resentment on the part of the man, especially if his wife is so caught up in herself that she fails to pay attention to his needs and responses. He may in turn desire to "overturn the table" in order to hasten a completion of the marital act, using a form of "batter and ram" copulation, in which he does the thrusting in something other than face-to-face woman-on-top intercourse.

Excerpt from Humanae Vitae, element 17 Upright men can even better convince themselves of the grounds on which the teaching of the Church in this field are based, if they care to reflect upon the consequences of methods of artificial birth control. Let them consider, first of all, how wide and easy a road would thus be opened up towards conjugal infidelity and the general lowering of morality. Not much experience is needed in order to know human weakness, and to understand that men---especially the young, who are so vulnerable on this point---have need of encouragement to be faithful to the moral law, so that they must not be offered some easy means of eluding its observance. It is also to be feared that the man, growing used to the employment of anticonceptive practices, may finally lose respect for the woman and, no longer caring for her physical and psychological equilibrium, may come to the point of considering her as a mere instrument of selfish enjoyment, and no longer as his respected and beloved companion. (emphasis added)